How I see the world...

Basically, it occurred to me today that there are two types of people in the world- those who like How to Train Your Dragon, and those who don't. The former are my friends, and the latter, beyond dead to me.

You might argue that there are also those who have not seen HTYD, but I don't consider this a category in itself. There exists in every person the potential for great good or great evil, and HTYD is merely the fastest way of quantifying where someone falls on that spectrum. Whether they have seen the movie or not, they will eventually be sorted into two groups.

Don't fear, I would never assume we live in a world of hate where half of all people correctly love the movie, and a foolish half turn their backs on it. I'm much more of an optimist than that. I assume realistically there are only, say, five people evil enough not to love that movie. One of them is probably that nutter who leads that church who is always saying that 9/11 was caused because of gays, or that Haiti deserved the earthquake because they signed a deal with Satan. I bet he wouldn't be able to recognize wholesome, family-friendly fun if you slapped him across the face with the VHS version.

Besides being a measure of one's soul, HTYD is also just the best thing in the world. If I could do one thing (and there was some stipulation, like no world peace, no making sure everyone had food and water, no curing cancer, etc) I would have everyone watch that movie.

I have a huge conflict going on internally about this. My own family and boyfriend have not seen the movie. The dragon reminds me of my recently passed-away doggie, so I will give my family a one-year pass before watching the movie, as it might be painful now. It will happen though. As for Leo, do I threaten to leave him if he doesn't watch it, or should I be more subtle than that? I've tried dropping hints. Today for instance:

Me: I was going to order How to Train Your Dragon this weekend on Netflix, but I thought I'd wait until you got here in January.

BF (being deliberately obtuse): But you've already seen that movie.

Me: You haven't though. It teaches you the values of friendship, how to be a good Viking, and most importantly, how to train any dragons you might come across.

BF: You could say that the last thing is probably the major focus of the film.

Me: So you'll watch it with me? Dragon training is a useful skill.

BF:....So, what are your plans now that finals are done?

I'll get him. He will watch that movie, if it is the last thing I ever do. I know how to subtlely pick away at him until he gives in. I want him to think he's doing it for me. It will make it all the sweeter when he realizes that showing him HTYD is the biggest expression of love I could ever give him.

I really don't have much more to say on the subject, as the movie speaks for itself. If you haven't already done so, run out, buy the movie, and watch it non-stop this weekend. You won't regret it.

Disturbing post (don't read if rape or poo offends you)

My boyfriend told me a story once about how his dad was in line with a woman at the grocery store. They live in a small town in New Hampshire, so they'd seen each other in the store before, always said hi. Well, this time I guess 'hi' wasn't enough, and the woman told Leo's dad about how her father told her that if anyone ever tried to rape her, just to loose control of her bowels. Because no one wants to rape someone covered in poop.

The story doesn't end here though. Leo's Dad nods (I imagine there isn't much you can say to information like that), and she continues. Apparently, someone tried to rape her once, and she followed this advice. I guess it worked.

I have been haunted by this story for the last year. The logistics baffle me. Anytime I am walking home alone in the dark I think about this, and all I can think is that I'd have no protection, because there is no way I could, um, "relax," enough to "save myself" in that situation. Honestly, it makes me doubt the validity of the woman's story. Yet, at the same time, who makes something like that up?

Why horses are the best

I've had a long, rough week (finals, friend drama, sickness, etc), and I went out this morning to ride my horse. Starla normally treats me as her human slave, designed to clean her up and feed her at her whim. Her general facial expression suggests that if she could talk, she would be saying, "MORE CARROTS, HUMAN!"

This morning though, I think she got that I've had just about as much as I could handle this week, and she was all nuzzle-y and cute. She kept resting her head on my back while I did her feet and pressing her face against my tummy while I was grooming her. Pretty damn cute, and why I'm willing to put half of the money I get each month into keeping her happy and healthy.

Though in reality, this probably wasn't her being cute so much as searching my pockets for food, but I'll take it.

She would eat me if I tasted like peppermint, licorice, or molasses. Luckily, I don't.

Things which irritate me more than they should:

1. Small amounts of things that come in deceptively large containers. This goes for anything from the face lotion I just bought that came in a box the size of my fist but ended up being in a container roughly the size of a silver dollar to those chip bags that end up being filled with air and three chips.

2. People who talk on their cell phones loudly on the bus. I realize there are times where you might need to communicate with someone via telephone while in transit, but it seems like this could be done using a normal voice level.

3. People who run for fun. I realize this isn't so much an irritation just as a recognition that these people are far cooler than me. They intimidate me, and I resent them for being so much more awesome than I.

4. Christmas music after Christmas. I love my carols, but you need to switch to something not-Christmas specific after the 25th (26th if you are Canadian). There are plenty of winter carols you can choose from.

5. When people confuse the gender of my pets. God help them if they ever do it to me when I have kids. Imma stab a fool.

6. Studying for finals. Hence the reason I'm popping off a random list of irritants instead of studying.