I got the position, and while unpaid, it will look good on a resume, and the woman I'm working under at least understands that 120 hrs of unpaid servitude from a graduate student is a good deal. She's really nice, and is trying to get me the most out of the project as possible. She asked why I'm getting a degree in Public Health when it doesn't seem to match any of my career goals or interests. Good question. Since this is only about the 30th time I've been asked that I don't even feel embarrassed anymore explaining that I really had no idea what I wanted when I graduated from college, and if I could redo things I would have taken a year to earn money, get healthy, and apply to programs that actually interest me.
It's something I've been thinking about a lot. UW was one of the worst decisions of my life in terms of personal health and growth, but if a year of grad school is the worst thing I've done I guess I'm not doing badly. I just have no interest in most of my classes (though to be fair, that is probably because they are taught horribly). I spend a fair amount of time daydreaming, fantasizing about the life I'd rather being living, and scheming on how much school I can skip and still get good grades. I'm not proud to be the queen of apathy, I'm just tired and miserable if I actually stop and think about why I'm getting a degree I don't want. I guess I'm far enough in that I should keep going, at least til they run out of money. I tell every single person I know in college that when all your professors and counselors say they should put a mandatory year off between undergrad and grad they really know what they are talking about. The average age in my program is probably 26-28, for a reason.
I just try never to think about it. I wish I had gone to school for completely different things, but I'm so worn out I don't see myself going back to school to get the degree I actually want. I could leave this program, but I'm half done at this point. Once I have the degree there is no rule saying I have to work in the field in which I got my masters. I keep telling myself it will be very worth it to be 24 and have my masters, but boy, do I wish I'd gone to one of the one-year programs!
It's not that I hate learning, I just want to learn things I'm interested in! This summer if I can afford it (I am hoping to be able to work about 50 hrs a week, I'm so poor) I want to take some classes for fun at the community college. That will be really cool. I can't wait until I graduate and can have a little money and time to take all the classes I've wanted to take the last 5 years but haven't been able to since I was on such an aggressive "pre-health" tract.
Anyways, Wednesday I just did school and lab from 7am until 11pm. I did get to talk to Leo for an hour, so that was a lovely break. We talked about the crazy politics going on right now in DC. Thursday with the snow I drove out to Starla to make sure she had water and everything, but I had a midterm Friday, so I couldn't ride her. She stood at the gate calling for me and looking confused about why I wasn't taking her out to play when I left. It was really upsetting, but hopefully school will get less shitty sooner or later and I can actually spend time with my baby. Luckily, Leo texted not long after I left her and told me he bought tickets to come out here for a week during my birthday. Perfect timing and perfect birthday present!
Friday I took my midterm, worked in the lab, and did my normal school work thing from 7am-7pm with breaks for classes. I got to meet up with my friend Lacey from college at 8pm downtown, and grabbed Gabby too. It ended up being myself, Lacey, Hilary (another friend from college who will be here for grad school starting next month), and Gabby. It was really nice to see Lacey, who has been living the dream since graduation. She's been working on a ranch in Colorado (more like a summer camp for kids than a working ranch), as a horse wrangler and outdoors guide. It sounds like so much fun. It was nice to see her so happy (lol, everyone spent 10 minutes talking about how great life without school is, and how it's so nice to to do work until late hours in the evening and to only work 40-50 hrs a week and be able to do your own thing- I was pretty jealous. Gabby and Lacey are thinking of applying to grad school next year, Hilary just took the first two quarters off, which still seems like a great break).
Saturday I got up, went to the gym, rode my horse for a short while (it was 27 degrees outside- I couldn't feel my feet), then I did homework from afternoon on. There was huge drama over potential snow, so I had to go stay on a friend's house in Snohomish so I could be there in the morning for the big annual 4H tack sale. It was really nice of her to pick me up, and let me stay at her house. The only bummer was I didn't get to ride Starla today because I was dependent on someone else for getting around. Steph was sweet enough to let me check on her and give all her supplements, but I couldn't ask her to hang out while I rode, especially since it was 36 F outside! I won't get to ride Tuesday because of my new internship. I'm going to see if I can't skip school this week so I can go see her.
Now, for the awesome- the 4H tack sale. It is truly epic. Anyone can consign anything to it, and they get approximately 300,000 items. It was in the 58,000 sq ft arena, and it was huge. I got so many great deals on things I needed (except winter blankets-people are delusional about how much a used blanket is worth), but mainly the social aspect was the very best. I got to see my trainer from high school, friends from high school riding, people from my current barn, people I vaguely remembered from showing years ago. I love the social aspect of riding. I got some bridles I'm going to take before and after pics later when I clean them up. Adding to the satisfaction of a huge haul is the knowledge I didn't really spend any money. I sold a saddle and halter at the sale (at $50 more than I paid for them), and even with commission I made back what I bought. Boo-yah!
My loot!
On the food front, my beans are mutants. I started them way too early. I'm going to be overrun in about a month. It won't be too terrible- I should be getting beans in May, then I can sow more for later in the summer. Who knew those things were so fast acting! My tomatoes have all popped up, and I'm trying to give them enough light until they need to be transplanted. My swiss chard has also popped, and the little leaves are the bright colors they will be when full grown.
Tiny tomato babies.
Giant week old bush bean starts!For eating the eating front, this week I've been eating tons of steamed veggies with fantastic black rice I found at Whole Foods (best place in the world, and two blocks from my new internship at SBRI). It makes a pretty meal, and I just don't get tired of it very quickly.
Forbidden rice with steamed lemon pepper veggies. Yum!
I should wrap this up, so I can get back to work. I've got the next couple weeks planned to the hour. It's going to be worth it though, because two weeks from now, Leo gets here for a full week! And two and a half weeks from now, I'll be completely done with this quarter, able to visit with my boy in peace, and have a break to focus on horse, garden, and internship hours. I can't wait!
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